Original Logan
by Stephanie18
Summary: Max meets Original Logan...


Original Logan  
  
  
I've got no author notes, because there is nothing to say. Oh, but you might want to read Womannapped first, otherwise you won't get the cute little Cindy jokes. Okay, I lied. I did have author notes.  
Disclaimer: I own not a thing...kinda. I own some stuff, but the Dark Angel characters belong to Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and friends.  
Now, let's see what our favorite (and I think Zack is mentioned too...) Dark Angel characters are up to!  
  
  
[Max walked into Jam Pony fuming.]  
  
MAX:  
Normal! Get your ass over here!  
  
[Normals rolls his eyes and walks over.]  
  
NORMAL:  
What do you want? And don't try to get violent...I've already reported you to the police once and-  
  
MAX:  
You know what? Shove it Package Man. Why did you give my job away before?  
  
NORMAL:  
Cindy said something about you quitting, so I had to hire someone and she just showed up.  
  
MAX:  
Speaking of The Betrayer-  
  
NORMAL:  
Are you giving everyone superhero/supervillan nicknames today?  
  
MAX:  
Go pack some fudge. Where is Cindy?  
  
SKETCHY:  
Said something about her needing to get out of Seattle into to Canada to escape the soldiers and Lydecker.  
  
[Max starts to wince and wiggle slightly.]  
  
MAX:  
Did she now? And did she have a funny little thing on her neck?  
  
SKETCHY:  
Yeah, I tried to run it through a price scanner, but she wouldn't let me.  
  
[Sketchy walks away and Max turns to the "camera"]  
  
MAX:  
I go away for one day and this is what you do?  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
*shrugs*  
  
[Max yells a few profanities then goes to Logan's pena...pena...place.]  
  
MAX:  
Oh Logan, I could cry!  
  
[Logan rolls his eyes.]  
  
LOGAN:  
What is it now you big crybaby? [He goes into a sarcastic mocking voice] Oh, big bad Lydecker is after me, save me! Oh, my sibs have been compromised, save them! Oh Zack is hitting on me again, save me! Why don't you go tell the peeps at Manticore and see if they give a damn.  
  
MAX:  
Logan, did you just say peeps?  
  
LOGAN:  
Yes, I did. And it's Original Logan, thank you very much.  
  
MAX:  
But Log-  
  
[Logan holds up a hand.]  
  
LOGAN:  
If you ain't gonna say it right, don't say it at all.  
  
[Logan snaps his fingers and mutters, 'Mmmmmmhmmmm.']  
  
MAX:  
Original Logan, I really need your help. Cindy has somehow become a psuedo X-5 and she still has my bike...baby...b-whatever. Anyway, she's in Canada and I need you to track her down.  
  
[Logan stopped listening after the word 'need' and proceeded over to the window to stare down at the people...er...peeps on the street.]  
  
LOGAN:  
Yeah, whatever. [Pause, then Logan points to a man on the street.] Original Logan sees a hottie!  
  
MAX:  
Oh dear lord! [Turns to "camera"] What've you done?  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
I dunno...I just thought it was funny. Heh. Original Logan. Heh heh.  
  
[Max sighs and says the four letter word that doesn't begin with the letter H and turns to Logan.]  
  
MAX:  
Log-Original Logan, what's happened to you?  
  
[Logan sighs and looks...uh...dazzily(?) out the window.]  
  
LOGAN:  
Ever since the wheelchair fiasco...I dunno...  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
Hey, is he outta the wheelchair? I never actually specify...  
  
LOGAN:  
I just feel so incomplete, no matter the chair or not. I don't know where my life was going, so I turned to drugs and Original Cindy. She told me to stop the drugs and get high on men...but then you came back.  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
When did she leave? And why did he switch present and past tenses at times?  
  
LOGAN:  
And my world was again filled with the sunshine that only you could bring. I lied to myself and said I was in love with that woman in the bar place, but I only really love...  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
Pancakes! He really only loves pancakes. [Pause] Cause I'm not takin' the plot there, 'member?  
  
MAX:  
I had no idea that you...turned to Cindy. [Max smacks him upside the head.] Were you high when you went to her? For Christ sakes man, what did you think you'd get out of her? She's The Betrayer and the bitch who stole my bike! [Max pulls out a projector and tries her luck at Maxicore (well, it isn't Manticore that's doing it!) brainwashing.]  
  
PROJECTOR:  
Cindy. Betrayer. [Flashes anew] Zack. Nasty. [Flashes anew] Max. Awesome. [Flashes anew] Sketchy. Greasy. [Flashes anew] Bling. Okay. [Flashes anew] Logan. Eyes Only.  
  
[Max whispers a few minor details into Logan's ear, then turns off the projector.]  
  
MAX:  
So, how do you feel?  
  
[Logan just sits there.]  
  
MAX:  
Uh...Original Logan?  
  
LOGAN:  
Huh? Oh, you can drop the 'Original' now. I'm past that faze.  
  
[Max smiles...um...warmly. Oh no, not a warm smile! That leads to-]  
  
MAX:  
Great. Logan, I lo-  
  
[Stephanie18 puts hands over her ears and begins to speak loudly.]  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
La la la! I can't hear you! You are not speaking!  
  
LOGAN:  
And I feel the same. [Logan twitches. LIke, have you seen Me, Myself, And Irene? It's like when Hank appears in the store for the very first time, that kind of twitch. Then his voice seems almost...robotic.] And you Max, are awesome.  
  
MAX:  
Great!  
  
STEPHANIE18:  
Yeah...just super.  
  
MAX:  
Ah, crap.  
  
LOGAN:  
What?  
  
MAX:  
That bitch *still* has my bike.  
  
THE END 


End file.
